Dueling Personalities
by StoryDiva
Summary: This is set after the story New Future so it might not make sense without it. It's been two months since Chris ended up in his new future and he's having trouble coping.


**Title: ** Dueling Personalities 

**Disclaimer:** These characters are not mine...just have a deep love for Chris. 

**A/N: ** Okay, this is written in the New Future world so you'll want to have read that story first...and then it might help to read a story entitled "Soulmates" by the wonderful **ladybug218 over at livejournal**...because she just increased the wonders of this A/U. So yeah, both of those might help it make more sense. As always, feedback is _always_ appreciated! 

-- 

Chris stared out the window of his old room at the Manor and focused his attention on the sky, watching as the sun slowly peeked its head out for another morning. It was one of Chris' favorite times of the day, something that hadn't changed with the new future and life he seemed to be living. Though the reason he was awake at this time of day was different than it used to be. In the past, it was because it was the safest time to travel and avoid Wyatt's armies of demons. Nowadays, it was usually because of an early morning class or Wyatt breaking something as he entered their apartment _discreetly_. 

This morning, however, it was because of a horrible dream. It had been happening more and more frequently over the past few weeks. Memories of things he would rather forget and other memories he would've rather become overlaid with the newer, better ones. It seemed like a possibility at first. The first month after his return home to this new life, he was able to block out most of those things and concentrate on his family and Heather. The first month was what he had always hoped his life would be - almost normal at times. 

But when he entered the second month...things started to change. Nightmares would revisit him. Bianca would appear, covered in blood, reminding him that she had died to protect him, but slip away before he could reach her. He wondered if she was out there somewhere, hurt that he had gone on living without her. She had counted on him to not only fix things, but to save her. 

He had failed her. Over the past month, it was one of many things that he realized had gotten lost somewhere in this midst of his new life. Maybe he wasn't meant for it, maybe he should've insisted on simply moving on. He had died after all, right? He could still recall the feel of Gideon's athame cutting through him and the cold swell that rushed through him as his father begged him not to give up. 

Chris shuddered at the memories. Whoever said adapting was a natural part of human life had never woken up in a new future with a duelling set of emotions and memories. 

"Hey kiddo, what are you doing up?" 

Chris turned and met his mother's concerned gaze. He forced a small smile and replied, "One could ask you the same thing, mom." 

"Yes, they could, but I asked first," she countered. She stepped into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. She placed her hand on his leg and said, "Chris, honey, you know you can talk to me, right?" 

He rolled his eyes and said, "Actually, no. That thought escaped me after twenty-two years." 

She slapped his leg and asked, "What's going on, smartass?" 

"It's probably nothing." 

"Why is it that whenever you or Wyatt begin a sentence like that I worry?" 

"Because you're overprotective." 

"With good reason. As much as I've tried to provide this family with a normal life, sometimes it wasn't in the cards," Piper replied. 

Chris sighed. He didn't want to worry his mother or freak her out. It wasn't even like he had any idea how to broach the topic - _hey mom, guess what? I've been to a different future and it's not pretty_ - if it were to come up in conversation. At the same time, keeping all of this to himself was slowly driving him crazy. 

"It's not - I like my life, mom. I have you and dad and Wyatt..." 

"And a certain med student?" 

Chris blushed and replied, "And a certain med student. My point was that I'm happy." 

Piper stood up and chucked his chin. She said, "I know when my son is happy. The other night, when Heather met the entire brood of us and didn't run off screaming, you were happy. _This_ is not a happy Christopher Perry Halliwell face." 

"Mom-" 

Piper raised her arms in surrender and said, "I'm not going to force you to talk to me. You're a grown man, Chris. But keeping it all bottled up - you don't have to be brave for everyone, honey. Remember that, okay?" 

Chris watched his mother start to walk off and he called out, "It's just that-I'm scared that all of this is going to go away if I'm not careful." 

Piper stopped in her tracks and stared at him. It only made the terror of his nightmares all the more real to him, remembering that time in his life when she wasn't there, all those times he had to deal with Wyatt alone because she made them promise to look out for each other. Chris could feel the threat of tears blurring his vision and that was unacceptable. He hated people seeing him like that - he hated worrying anyone. 

"Why would it go away?" 

Chris shrugged, unsure of what to say. He finally let it all come out. If there was one person he could trust, it was his mother. Even if she became convinced he was crazy or under a spell, she would still listen to him without blowing him off. He said, "Because that's how things work in my life." 

"Chris..." 

"I keep telling myself that I've earned this. That they told me this was my reward, and, for awhile there, I convinced myself it was true. But now...I _love_ my life, mom." Chris paused and met her concerned gaze before going on, "I love that my family is in my life, that my brother is practically my hero, and that this beautiful, smart girl loves me and we can be togetherbut what if it's not real? What if this is some sort of delirium or what if that thing back at the magic school was lying to me?" 

"What thing at the school?" 

Chris shut his eyes and said, "Nothing." 

"Christopher." 

"Remember when I was sick a few months ago?" 

"Yes, go on." 

"While I was looking for Aunt Paige, something grabbed me." 

"And you're just telling me this _now_?" 

"It didn't hurt me. It told me that it was there to help me with my transition and to explain things that were confusing at the time." 

"Transition? I don't like the sound of that. What _sort _of transition? And why wouldn't you say anything about this, Chris? After growing up in this house and seeing what you have...I don't care how old or powerful you are. I don't want you in harm's way, especially if there is no reason for it..." Piper's voice trailed off and she stared at her son. She ran her fingers through his hair and took a fortifying breath before finishing, "But that's not important right now. Right now I need you to tell me - what did this thing do to you?" 

"It explained all those things I was feeling. It helped me remember some stuff that I needed to in order to move on," Chris replied. He gripped his hands together and said, "It tried to help me feel like I belonged here, and now, I don't want this life to go away. I keep waiting for the floor to drop out because that's how things have always worked for me." 

"Oh God," Piper replied, raising her hand to her mouth. She looked at Chris and tears started to form. 

Chris had no idea what part of his crazy ranting had sent his mother over the edge, but he immediately felt guilty. She was probably convinced he was a nutcase that needed to be locked away for life. As he went to reply, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She said, "You're...you remember, don't you? But how?" 

Chris moved away from his mother. He stared at her and he said, "Are you telling me that you know what I'm talking about? But I figured-I'm really confused, mom." 

Piper brushed the tears aside and caressed Chris' face. She said, "Give me a minute, okay? I need to get your dad." 

"But-" 

"Chris" 

"Yeah, yeah. No matter how old I am, you're the mother and I'm the slave...I mean, _son_," he replied with a smile. 

Piper stared at him for another minute and disappeared into the hall. Chris wondered why he hadn't thought of this possibility before - he was living in this new future that had been created. It meant he had succeeded and therefore his parents must've known about it and known...well, him. 

He stared out at the sky, now a blazing orange coming across the horizon and tried not to feel like an impostor, like he had suddenly robbed his parents of the Chris whom they loved. A better Chris who probably never allied himself with demons or lied to the people he loved for any reason. 

"Chris? Would you come downstairs?" Chris heard his mother call out. 

Chris took a deep breath and followed the sound of his mother's voice to the kitchen. He found her and Leo sitting at the table with stunned looks on their faces. He stood at the threshold of the room and crossed his arms. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Now that his secret had slipped out, would there be consequences? Would it all go away and he'd be alone once again? 

"Sit down, sport. Your mom and I want to talk." 

Chris nodded and took a seat at the table between the two of them. He hadn't been in this situation since he was little and his powers were explained to him. Even then, the air wasn't quite so thick and uncomfortable. He looked from his mother to his father and said, "I'm sorry." 

Piper's eyebrows rose and she questioned, "What are you sorry for?" 

"I'm not who-" 

"You're our son, Chris. Your mom and I love you," Leo replied. He reached out and patted his son's hand before continuing, "We don't expect you to know this but, a long time ago, before you were born" 

"Dad, I know what you're going to tell me." 

"You do?" 

Chris nodded and said, "Someone came from the future. Someone came to stop Wyatt from turning evil and he was killed by Gideon." 

"Oh God," Piper replied. 

Leo glanced at Piper and asked, "How do you know that?" 

"Because it was me." 

"That's not possible, Chris," Piper stated. 

"Yeah, I didn't think it was either. One minute I'm bleeding to death on mom's bed-" 

"I really don't like thinking about that Chris," Piper interrupted. 

Chris sighed and replied, "And the next thing I know I wake up in some apartment with mom there and Wyatt being all not evil...I didn't know what the hell was going on. I thought maybe it was some sort of afterlife or I had basically lost my mind. I don't know. Maybe I _have_ lost my mind." 

"When did you figure everything out?" 

"Like I told mom - it happened at the magic school that day. Something grabbed me and took me somewhere. It helped me make sense of all this stuff that was going on that made no sense. It babbled on about having earned a chance to experience the future that I helped to create and something about my presence being necessary to fight the upcoming evils. Whatever it did to me, it worked. I remembered everything. I remembered all the terrible things and who I had been, but I also...I had all these other memories, these great memories of happy times-" Chris paused. He clutched his head and groaned, "I don't know what to believe anymore. For awhile there, I managed to deal with it. I liked my new life, but now I can't stop thinking about the past, my past before everything changed. I had friends in that world - what happened to them? Do they still exist and I simply don't know them? And Bianca-" 

"Your fiancée?" Piper questioned. 

Chris nodded. His parents really did remember everything. He said, "I loved her, mom. You only saw - she wasn't evil. She was a good person who got caught up in Wyatt's war. She died to protect meand there's Heather and she looks like Bianca - but she's different too. Wonderful and amazing in her own way. I don't understand what I'm supposed to do." 

"Why would this, this _thing _want you to remember those horrible times - hasn't he earned a little peace?" Piper exclaimed, not really to anyone in particular. She met Leo's gaze and asked, "Why would the Elders do this to him? Hasn't he suffered enough?" 

Before Leo could respond, Chris answered, "My situation was beyond the Elders control." 

"I beg your pardon?" Piper replied. 

Chris shrugged, "Hey, I'm just telling you what that thing said to me. It made sense at the time." 

"Christopher, why wouldn't you say something about this before?" Piper replied in exasperation. 

"Because I wanted it to be real. I wanted to believe that if I embraced this life long enough the other stuff would disappear gradually with time. It's-I'm not sure I know how to let go of it. I feel like I'm being ripped in two." 

Piper stood up and wrapped her arms around Chris from behind. She kissed the top of his head and said, "We'll figure this out together, Chris. I promise." 

"I'm sorry." 

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Do you hear me?" 

"But I'm not the son-" 

Leo cut him off, "Yes, you are. Chris, the circumstances around your life have changed, not your heart. You were always a good man - brave, selfless, and loyal to your family - and that hasn't been altered by these memories or whatever may have happened in a different lifetime. No matter what, you're still our son. Always. Got it?" 

"But-" 

"Got it?" Leo repeated. 

Chris nodded, "I guess." 

"Your father's right," Piper replied. She tilted his head up so that he could see the expression on her face and she added, "We love you and the only thing I'm sorry about is that some power decided you needed to be burdened with those memories." 

"I love you too, both of you," Chris replied. He tapped his fingers on the table and added, "But I still don't know what to make of anything. I mean, a part of me likes remembering how things were before because it makes me appreciate all of this even more, but I want the nightmares to stop. I want to stop worrying that one bad night at work might drive Wyatt over the edge and I'll lose him all over again." 

Piper tightened her grip on Chris and said, "We'll figure this out." 

Leo nodded and added, "Your mother and aunts can come up with a potion to stop the nightmares, but I think the rest has to come from you, Chris." 

"Huh?" 

"It's your guilt and pain that's causing this. Maybe the fact that we know will make it easier for you, knowing that if you need to talk about things, you can without fear of being dismissed as crazy." 

"And there's no more 'future consequences' nonsense to stop you," Piper added, nudging her son in the side. 

Chris laughed and said, "You always hated when I said that." 

"Damn right. It was annoying," Piper replied. She stepped away from the table and clapped her hands together. She asked, "How about I make us some breakfast?" 

"Well, I'm hungry. Chris?" 

"If it's pancakes, count me in. If it's her carb-light oatmeal, I've got class." 

"Always the comedian," Piper commented. 

Chris observed his mother's movements as she began to prepare the breakfast. If she was harbouring resentment toward him or worried that he had come unhinged, she wasn't letting it show. And, as if reading his mind, Leo said, "It's going to be okay, sport. We'll get through this just like we get through everything else." 

"You promise?" 

"I promise." 

Chris noticed his father was still staring at him and Chris replied, "It was never your fault. I hope you know that." 

"What?" 

"You didn't get me killed or stabbed or whateverthat was Gideon's doing, not yours, dad." 

"It took me awhile to realize that, but I know. It's still good hearing you say it though," Leo replied. He patted Chris' back and said, "I'll make the orange juice if you set the table." 

"Fair enough." 

"And over breakfast we can find out more about Chris' relationship with Heather. You know, all those things he's been attempting to avoid since the dinner," Piper called out. 

"Gee, that sounds wonderful," Chris replied. He meant for it to sound sarcastic, but deep down, it did sound wonderfuland maybe, just maybe, he could reach some sort of peace with this personality dichotomy he had going on. 

_Fin_


End file.
